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Saturday, January 30, 2010

As someone who revels in his own irrelevancy, I have found liberation in no longer caring how I seem to anyone else. Thatís why, when I went to get a haircut yesterday and the salonista kept asking me if I was sure I wanted that much off, I kept reassuring her, with a smile, that no matter how short she cut it, I wouldnít complain that it was too much. In the end, though, I let her have her way. She left it a little longer than I usually have it cut. But I didnít care, because after all, what difference does it make, to me or to anyone?

In that tell-all spirit, I feel okay revealing that Iíve lost my ability to keep numbers in the right order. That could be a disadvantage to a person who makes a living by counting dollars and cents. Last week my developing mathlexia cost me precious hours, as I submitted the Kennelís entire roster of W-2 forms electronically, then (as soon as Iíd clicked Send! And Yes, Iím Sure!) realized that Iíd transposed two digits on the companyís federal tax ID.

At first, I panicked. Then I simply entered reversing entries for all the incorrect forms (which might not have made it all the way to the government anyway, since the ID number I used probably doesnít even exist). After that, I resubmitted, double checking all the numbers (ALL the numbers). After that, I exhaled. It had only cost me three times as much work to do what should have been a simple task. The way I work these days, thatís par for the course.

Oh, it is so much easier being old and befuddled than it ever was being young and ... well, befuddled, I guess. I never progressed much in my understanding of how social conventions keep people from crashing into each other at random speeds and angles. Iíve done a decent job of being myself, which has allowed me to keep people who wouldnít like that person at bay. Itís a fairly small sampling of humanity that finds its way into my corner of the planet, but at least itís a mostly decent and generous group. Tolerant, too, probably more than they really need to be.




27 January 2010



It actually stopped raining for almost two whole days, which made it even more dismaying when I stepped out to get my mail yesterday afternoon and got soaked. Today was mostly sunny, and there isnít any more rain predicted until Monday. Well, a rainy Monday is such a redundancy that I find it hard to care one way or the other. I canít avoid Mondays, since thereís one every week. And it seems I canít avoid rain, either, even though Iím pretty sure the weather wizards are lying when they tell us weíre still in a drought.




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