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Friday, May 29, 2009

Its Tuesday, and— Okay, wait a minute, its not really Tuesday, not now anyway, but this happened Tuesday, and since I havent written anything since Sunday, I get to tell you what happened Tuesday. Besides, for the purposes of this story, it doesnt really matter what day it is. It might as well be Tuesday.

So its Tuesday (lets say), and Im standing at the ATM depositing last weeks paycheck. Im depositing last weeks paycheck because this weeks paycheck hasnt been written yet. Why? I hear you ask, somewhat indistinctly. (Speak up, please). Because Monday was a holiday and I didnt get the time cards until Tuesday afternoon, so how could I have written the paychecks by Tuesday morning? I mean, come on. Pay attention here.

So its Tuesday and Im standing at the ATM depositing a paycheck (which just happens, for no relevant reason, to be last weeks). This is at the supermarket, where there are two ATMs side-by-side, and in front of the ATM next to mine is a woman who is having trouble. It might be the first time shes ever used an ATM, or maybe its just the first time in a long time, or the first time shes used this particular machine. She politely asks me if I know where to find the envelopes to put her check in so she can deposit it.

When I explain to her that you dont need an envelope, because you just slide the check into the little blinking slot, she gets a bit exasperated trying to figure out how that complicated operation works, so I leave my ATM (keeping as much of my body as I can in front of it, while leaning heavily sideways) and show her how to stick the check in the slot. Meanwhile, my machine starts blinking and beeping madly, as do the people in the line behind us.

The woman is still having trouble. Cant find the slot. She sees where the blinking light is, and she sees the arrow, but shes trying to stick the check through the solid metal, instead of looking for the opening. Or maybe shes looking for the opening and cant see it. Ive been there. I know how it is when you know how something is supposed to work, but you dont know enough to make it actually work. So I lean over and stick her check in the slot for her.

This really pisses off my ATM (even more than it pisses off the people in line behind me). It seems you need a little more time, reads the message on the screen. Just let us know when youre ready, it says (or words to that effect). So I push buttons frantically, deposit my check, get my cash back, and hightail it out the door before Im called on to perform any more good deeds. One a day is enough for this moderately good Samaritan.




27 May 2009

Garden foliage and the trees beyond.



After leaving the ATM, I grab a grocery cart and go back into the store to do my shopping. The cart, of course, has a squeaky wheel. I should have turned right around and picked another cart as soon as I came in the door, but Im kind of stubborn (and stupid) that way. As I make my way up and down the aisles, picking up my cucumbers and seitan and hummus and the like, heads swivel toward me throughout the store (and you know how I love attracting attention). A woman notes that I got that cart. Yes, I acknowledge, and I should have turned right around and picked another cart as soon as I came in the door. But Im kind of stubborn that way. And stupid.




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Stuff

Giants 4, Cardinals 2. It took a couple of good hits, a couple of good defensive plays, and some tight pitching to get through this one against one of the better teams in the league. Pablo Sandoval took over at first base and had one of the key hits. Matt Cain provided another quality start, and the bullpen held onto this one for him (just what they werent doing at this time last season). Brian Wilson got the save, but it was Bobby Howrys 1-2-3 eighth against Pujols, Ludwick and Rasmus that kept this one in the win column.

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