Rock bottom is when I donít get out of my chair all day long and donít turn on the computer at all. Thatís the point I hit yesterday, and itís why thereís no entry for that day. I didnít take a shower or change out of the clothes Iíd worn since I put them on Friday morning. I hadnít shaved since Wednesday. You wouldnít have wanted to be around me.
This morning I woke up thinking I was a lot better, but it turned out I wasnít as much better as I thought. At least the persistent cough that kept me down yesterday wasnít as bad, but my head is still stuffed up and my throat is still pretty sore.
Somehow I found enough energy today to turn on the computer, and even get some work done. If I donít do it, it doesnít get done, and there are people who depend on me, so I feel some responsibility to work through the bad times. I didnít really have a choice yesterday, because I could hardly move my body at all, but thatís why I took advantage of a little surge today.
I tried not to try to do too much today, but it was too tempting. Everything around here has been neglected for so long. It was as if the debris of my life was piling up around me, and I had to start sorting through it. I didnít last very long, though, and by tonight I was suffering again. Itís at times like this that I feel as if it will never end. I know it will, but I donít know when.