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Monday, June 2, 2008

With somewhat mixed results, I tried to get back into something that resembles a normal routine today. Iíve given up on the sleep thing, because it seems no matter what I try to do, my body is going to keep to its own peculiar schedule. But a Monday is probably the best day to try to make sense out of the rest of my life, since it comes with a set of obligations that canít be shirked

It helped that the Boss phoned me at 8:15 this morning. I didnít consider it helpful at the time, but I was about three-quarters asleep and not in any condition to make a sound judgment, especially when it had anything to do with the chirp of the phone. Thatís a sound that often throws reason into the wind, and at that hour there isnít much to disperse. Whooff! Gone in a heartbeat.

But it was helpful in giving some shape to the start of the day, and you canít get much out of a day unless it starts, somehow, some way. I also put in the hardest workout Iíve done on the treadmill since the week before last, when I wrecked my wrist. And tonight I got out the mower and took out another swath of high grass in the backyard. These are the kinds of tasks that frame a day and put me in the sort of comfort zone that just might help me sleep. They also wear me out a little, which also might help.

The one thing I didnít do today was run any errands. I didnít even make it to the post office, which is highly unusual for a week day. My plan was to go to the bank, put gas in my car, and go to the post office. Then some time during the morning I decided I didnít need to do my banking today, so Iíd just do the post office run. Then I realized that if I went anywhere at all, even to the post office, Iíd need gas, so instead of doing any of it, I bagged the whole deal and stayed home.

1 June 2008

Cloud puzzle.

This is all probably way too optimistic. I donít really believe that one day of sticking to an imaginary quick-frozen agenda is going to reroute all the scrambled synapses and put me back together again. But I have to be hopeful, and I have to start somewhere, and I have to do something, whether I think itís going to work or not. That way Iíll feel better about myself, even if the whole program is another spectacular failure.

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