This isnít working out the way I hoped it would. I have all this time to get things done, but I canít seem to keep at it. Weíre just not close enough to the deadline yet, I guess. Or maybe itís the fact that next week will be the third four-day week out of the last four. (Which doesnít mean I work only four days, of course. But the fact that nobody else is working kind of affects my attitude.)
Anyway, Iím being lazy. Iím getting through exactly what I have to get through, day after day, to keep the companies running. The tax payments that are due next Tuesday have been made, but the forms that have to be completed by the end of the month have barely been started. I canít work without some urgency hanging over me, and thatís all there is to it.
If only I could fool myself. But itís the same principle that keeps me from being a morning person. ďJust pretend you have to get up early.Ē Well, I donít have to get up early, and I donít want to, so I donít do it. And I donít have to get anything done before the deadline. I want to, but I canít make myself put aside something more interesting just to get a head start.
Maybe thatís the trouble. Maybe I have too many interesting projects on my plate, and I donít have what it takes to push them aside so I can do something a little less fascinating, even if itís more critical in the big picture. Itís the reason I donít bake. If I could make pastry, Iíd never have bean salad again. Iíd be eating cakes and pies and tarts and stuff all the time.