Let me tell you something about deadbeat dads: they can run, but they can’t hide. Or they can hide, but they can’t escape. If they do want to escape, they have to change their names and social security numbers (at the very least).

We have a new champion. A fellow we hired three weeks ago is being sought by two different counties. I got both support orders in the mail over the weekend, but I waited until after working hours today to fill out all the paperwork. I hate anything that takes me out of my routine, but I have to let the Boss do it when he asks to have something done immediately. I don’t have to let Alameda and San Joaquin Counties interrupt my bill paying.

It’s funny how different the two counties are in their demands. San Joaquin County is out in the valley, in a mostly rural area. They sent me one sheet of paper. I had to check a box and sign my name. Alameda County is on the Bay, all urban. It’s where Oakland is. They sent me a package three-quarters of an inch thick, with quadruplicate copies of many, many sheets with many, many blanks to fill in.

And yet, in the end, I only had to fill out two sheets for Alameda County, because most of the excess tonnage dealt with health insurance for the employee’s child, and since he doesn’t qualify for our insurance, all I had to do was sign a statement that said he was part time. But I do have to start deducting $74.10 from his wages every week, starting immediately.

If he’s like a lot of deadbeats, he’ll move on as soon as he knows the two counties have caught up with him again. Then I have to fill out another form that lets them know he’s not working for us any more. I don’t mind the paperwork, but I resent the employee for making me take time that I don’t have to do it. And for not paying his child support. I resent him for that, too.

I also got last week’s time cards today, but the extra paperwork kept me from starting on the paychecks. I noticed that Tim hired two and fired one this week. That’s a little excessive, but at least it’s not something he does every week. That’s more like a month’s worth of hirings and firings, most of the time. But it’s even more paperwork for me, which is all I really care about at this point.