When I got back from the post office today, the first thing I did was wash my hands. Then I opened the mail, and I was suddenly overcome with an uncontrollable urge to wash my hands again. What has always been a mild obsession has become a sort of compulsion (if thereís even a difference). Iíve always washed my hands many times during the course of the day, even though I hardly ever leave the house or have contact with other humans. Now Iím becoming even more reclusive, and even more fixated on keeping my hands clean.
Itís a good thing Iím obsessed with washing my hands, because Iím also somehow compelled to touch my face. Itís these allergies, I think. Iím forever rubbing my eyes and scratching my nose. I pull at my chin, too, but I donít think that has anything to do with allergies. I donít know where that habit comes from. Something prehistoric and evolutionary, maybe. Or maybe I just think it makes me look wise and thoughtful.
As anyone who knows me can tell you, Iím not obsessive about cleanliness in general. I tend to let things go. I donít live in filth, exactly, but I do live in clutter. I donít mind clutter, and I donít mind cobwebs and dust balls all that much, either. Nobody comes around to criticize, and thereís no one to impress, so any cleaning I do would be to satisfy myself only. And Iím pretty satisfied with a few stains and scratches here and there. I donít think you can catch anything by visiting my house, although I do understand your caution.