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Monday, April 22, 2002

Even when I have a plan, and the plan is a good one, I get side-tracked. I can dive into a new project with the best of intentions, but don't let something easier, or more fun, or less stressful cross my path. Don't even let something more difficult get between me and my appointed task, because I'll take forever getting back on the right path.

I don't even know how many times I've started tackling the oft-forgotten, unlamented filing that's been building up in tall, teetering piles for many months. Those piles are way on the other side of the room, and by the time I get there I've noticed the unopened mail, or a plant that needs watering, or the CD that needs changing. If I do make it all the way to the file cabinet, I'll get so wrapped up in reading the first piece of paper I handle that I won't get around to any of the others.

Most of the time I have so many things going on that I forget which one I'm supposed to do first. I should be paying company bills, but I also have payroll tax forms to finish and an OSHA questionnaire about lead poisoning and a notice from the court to garnish another employee's wages. And those are only the things I remember! There must be thousands I can't even think of right now. Plus, you know, all those telenovelas I have to watch.

Today I went searching for a shovel and never came back. As I was pulling weeds outside my front door (because I never got all the way to the back of the garden where I was intending to work), I found one that wouldn't come up by hand. I was looking for the shovel and walked around the corner of the house. Between me and the shovel was a thicket of weeds, and suddenly I decided that I needed to pull those up before I did whatever it was that brought me around the corner. And what's that shovel doing there?

The capper to all this self-revelation should be something to the effect that eventually, everything gets done. Well, guess what. It really doesn't. Some things get repeatedly shuffled to the bottom of the to-do list and never ever get crossed off. No, I don't know how I get away with this either.

last week's clouds

Clouds (from a few days ago) over the eastern horizon, as the sun sets behind me.

For only the second or third time this spring, I took my book out on the back porch to read. The weather just hasn't cooperated, and when the weather was good other things came up. Somehow other things almost always come up. This was the first time I've sat on the porch since hanging the bird feeder, and I wondered if the finches would drop by while I was out there.

The first one did a fly-by and sat on a high branch behind me, scolding and complaining. Two others approached the feeder and made a quick U-turn. I was being really calm and quiet, but for the longest time no one wanted to have anything to do with me. I guess they're in the habit of feeding now, though, because at last one lonely finch landed on the feeder and completely ignored me. Somehow I found that satisfying.

Next time I'll try sitting out there with the digital camera, but I know what will happen. They can't stand the sound of the camera's motor humming to life. They'll be gone before I can point and shoot.

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