First of all, let me just say this (as Richard Nixon used to say, just before saying nothing). When I was at Tammy and David’s house today, Kylie was asleep. The whole hour or so I was there. So: no pictures. Sleep is too precious to interrupt with unnecessary flashes. I don’t know for sure that she wouldn’t have slept through the whirring and flashing of the camera, but I was in no position to take that chance. If you know what I mean.

But you really should have seen her. She has this perfect round face with tiny, delicate features. We all like to say that all babies are beautiful, but we all know differently, don’t we? I mean, of course they’re all beautiful in their own way. But Kylie is by far the most beautiful three-day-old baby that I have ever seen. Personally. I’m not saying anything about the billions of other babies, just the ones I’ve seen. If you know what I mean.

Unfortunately, you’ll have to take my word for it, just like you’ll have to take my word for the fact that Aiden is the smartest fifteen-month-old that I’ve ever seen.

The reason for my visit today, believe it or not, was not to see Kylie or Aiden, or even Tammy and David. I was there to say goodbye to Tammy’s grandmother, who has been visiting for the last two weeks and who will be flying back to her home in the Great White North tomorrow. She’s a very sweet person, but also a little salty. In other words, a lot like Tammy. If you know what I mean.

I really have no excuse for not taking any new pictures of Aiden today, except that I was having too much fun watching him. Like Monk, he’s a little obsessed with wipes. “Clean!” he’ll say brightly, as he pulls one or two wipes out of the dispenser. “Clean! Clean! Clean!”

And he did. After he cleaned his own face, he moved on to the rest of us. David told him to “clean Batman” and he walked over to the toy inflatable Batman lying in the hall and wiped him. You should have seen it. I really mean that, but I didn’t do anything about it (like take a picture). Sorry. I’ll do better next time.