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Thursday, May 13, 2010

One of the problems with the E2 diet is that there are more gray areas than I should probably be expected to deal with. I love the diet, and in the thirteen and a half months (still counting in months) that Iíve been on it, I have lost a little weight, but more importantly Iím feeling a lot better physically and a million billion percent better emotionally. My state of mind is: Iím doing something I need to do to be healthy, and itís working. That would make me sleep easier at night, if I slept at night at all.

In the important things, Iím not tempted at all. I wouldnít even think of eating a hunk of meat or an egg. I have plenty of substitutes for dairy products, so thereís no reason to go there. As much as I used to love cheese, the very thought of it disgusts me now, so thatís the least tempting food Iíve given up.

The gray areas, though. Thatís where the problems lie, because the diet is by no means only about meat, eggs and dairy. Some restrictions are easy, because I can look at food labels and see ďHigh Fructose Corn SyrupĒ and know not to get anywhere near whateverís inside that package. Sodium is another matter, though. Iím supposed to be calculating percentages, and instead Iím just looking for low numbers without doing the math. I could be taking in more salt than I should that way, if only from laziness.

Then there are the flours. Enriched, not good. Bleached, very bad. But finding an ambiguous label can be very tempting, especially if somewhere on the package you find words like ďorganicĒ or ďwhole grain.Ē Iím inclined to be a little lenient with myself at times in these areas, especially if itís something like a cereal that is otherwise blameless.

Even worse are oils. I should not be using any salad dressing with any kind of oil as the first ingredient listed. But because certain kinds of oils are allowed at all, I sometimes make exceptions (then feel wrong about it later). In my defense the fake mayonnaise I use starts with canola oil but does say ďveganĒ prominently on the label. And these exceptions are so minor and so rare that I donít feel as if Iím compromising more than I should. Nothing can be that black and white.

12 May 2010

But I consider a little fudging like this to be a possible gateway to extravagant flouting of the rules, and thatís why I donít do it often and usually feel guilty when I do. Iím doing all this for me. No one is holding a gun to my head or telling me that Iíll die (or go to hell) if I eat a hamburger, or even a Ritz cracker. What I need to do is reread the book and reinforce the mindset that got me started on this journey, so that I donít backslide. Otherwise, itís a battle with myself that I might not win.

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