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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The trouble with relying on web sources for my news is that when I don't have a connection, I don't know what's going on. Sometimes that's a blessing, for the same reason that I've deliberately avoided television news for most of the last year. The feeling of being helplessly overwhelmed is too easy to give in to. It's better to be blissfully ignorance.

No, I don't strictly believe that. I wish I did, because that would make life so much easier. I could go on with the petty details of my job and my house and driving around in my car, and pretend that it all has a larger meaning in the world. What I can't pretend is to be unaffected by all the horrible things that are happening. I just try not to let them spill over into my safe places.

A person could drown in bad news and never see the lifeline thrown out by family and friends and hope for a better future. That would be wrong, maybe even more wrong than pretending the bad news doesn't exist. It's a balancing act, and I'm teetering, but holding on. So far.

18 May 2004

Cloudy day.

Today wasn't a day to celebrate much. The news is surrealistically bad, beyond all the nightmarish predictions. It can be emotionally draining to hear what's happening in Iraq and elsewhere, day after day, so much so that a gut-wrenchingly awful "mistake" can almost seem not as bad as it really is. I don't feel good about reaching that point, because I think we're in for many more days like this, for a long time to come.

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You're welcome, America. I believe it was my one vote (out of a hundred tries to get through) for Fantasia that gave us the right two finalists on American Idol. I take back all the nasty thoughts I've had about Hawaii the last few weeks. Thank goodness I was able to penetrate the great telephone bottleneck that one fateful time. I'm sure the producers are grateful, too.

Recent recommendations can always be found on the links page.

One year ago: Pressure
"Why did I feel as if I'd spent a little too much time locked in a sauna, and not one of the pleasant, family-oriented Finnish ones with the snow right outside the door so you can cool off quickly, but one of those dank, musky Turkish ones with the rusty overhead fan that doesn't work and stuff growing on the walls?"

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