Besides starting my diet again today, my other resolution is not to write too much when I feel as if I've been beaten senseless. I spent most of the afternoon and half the evening wrangling with the Boss about the most trivial matters, and now I'm totally wrung out. So I'll try to keep this short. (Whenever I say that, I end up writing more than usual.)
Yes, I've reached the point where I can no longer stand to sit in my own body. All that comfort eating I've been doing has left me fifteen pounds over the highest weight I want to carry, and about twenty pounds over where I probably should be. So it's back to carrot sticks instead of Fritos Lime & Chile Corn Chips. Mostly, it's back to not eating until I can feel the hunger. That constant snacking has to stop. Besides making me all lumpy, it also leaves a trail of crumbs wherever I go. And me without a vacuum.
This is a direction I've been leaning toward for a while now, but this weekend pushed me over the edge. I can't help thinking that my lack of energy is due at least in part to the terrible condition I've left my body in after the recent bingeing. I knew what I had to do, but I'd always think, "What difference does it really make? Why shouldn't I eat what I like, whenever I want?" Well, now I know. The difference is that when I eat all the time I end up feeling lousy. The trade-off might be worth it in the short run, but in the long run it's totally counterproductive.