bunt sign

Monday, March 25, 2002

Besides starting my diet again today, my other resolution is not to write too much when I feel as if I've been beaten senseless. I spent most of the afternoon and half the evening wrangling with the Boss about the most trivial matters, and now I'm totally wrung out. So I'll try to keep this short. (Whenever I say that, I end up writing more than usual.)

Yes, I've reached the point where I can no longer stand to sit in my own body. All that comfort eating I've been doing has left me fifteen pounds over the highest weight I want to carry, and about twenty pounds over where I probably should be. So it's back to carrot sticks instead of Fritos Lime & Chile Corn Chips. Mostly, it's back to not eating until I can feel the hunger. That constant snacking has to stop. Besides making me all lumpy, it also leaves a trail of crumbs wherever I go. And me without a vacuum.

This is a direction I've been leaning toward for a while now, but this weekend pushed me over the edge. I can't help thinking that my lack of energy is due at least in part to the terrible condition I've left my body in after the recent bingeing. I knew what I had to do, but I'd always think, "What difference does it really make? Why shouldn't I eat what I like, whenever I want?" Well, now I know. The difference is that when I eat all the time I end up feeling lousy. The trade-off might be worth it in the short run, but in the long run it's totally counterproductive.


A different kind of sunset.

So here we are, where we were almost exactly a year ago (less a couple of weeks). I can't do this without the incentive I get from going public with it. All the resolutions I've kept since I've had this journal have been the ones I've blasted out for all the world to hear about. Not that all the world cares. That's not the point. The point is that I know a few dear friends will read this and I'll feel I've dishonored them if I don't stick to the diet.

I won't be bicycle riding just yet, though (not until the traveling tinker comes by to put my bike back in shape). More power walking, that's as far as I can go.

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Recent recommendations can always be found on the links page.

One year ago: I Have a Little List
"But I'm as thrilled for Julia Roberts as she was for herself. Well, almost."

Two years ago: Tumbleweeds
"It's an amazing gift for an actor to create sympathy and understanding for a person you wouldn't give a second glance if you saw them on the street."

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And they argue through the night,
"Black is black and white is white,"
Walk away both knowing they are right.