bunt sign

Thursday, March 15, 2001

Well, I wouldn't know about post partum depression, but I have no explanation for my latest malaise except that the project I've been working on for two and a half months is done, and now I have nothing to do except everything that I've been putting off for two and a half months. My baby has been delivered, and the sleepless nights are here.

My mind was going in so many directions today that it never did land on anything it could do something about. There's just so much to do that I can't decide where to start, so I'll pick up a paper, whatever's lying on top of the pile, stare at it awhile, and then put it down, tabled for later action. If that "later" ever gets here, it's going to be action-packed (with all that sorting and filing "action" that makes the chicks swoon).

Things are actually going pretty well right now, except for the age-old money problems. There's money out there, but I just can't get my hands on it. The company's not in trouble, at least not yet, but when I have to borrow on my own credit card to put enough money in the company account to make the week's payroll, it's kind of spooky.

And once that big check comes in, I'll have something to focus on. That would be: spending all that money, by paying off suppliers and paying back credit lines. And paying back myself, of course. That should keep me busy for a day or two, and then I'll have to decide what to do next.

That's always the trouble, and maybe I'm better off when the Boss is hammering me with do-this-nows and I-need-this-yesterdays. At least that keeps my mind off the things I'm not doing. And right now I'm not doing much of anything.

Since I was full of nervous energy and I couldn't seem to channel it toward anything useful, I took it outside. Even though the yard waste container is out on the curb waiting to be emptied, I dragged the rickety old wheelbarrow that came with the house around to the side and went to work on the second wisteria.

It's amazing how quickly I could fill up a wheelbarrow and still have so much left to do. I wish I could have stayed outside longer, but I didn't feel like making too many piles of cuttings that I would then have to transfer to the container tomorrow. Besides, if I already have the container filled before it's even emptied, how will I be able to get any yard work done this weekend?

As impressed as I was by the blossoms that showed up on my plum tree a few days ago, I'm even more pleased by the leaves that are there now.

plum tree leaves

I'd love to see leaves on some of the other trees in my yard some time soon. Just a little sign that spring, which is due here next Tuesday, will not be delayed due to a worldwide leaf shortage.

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