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Monday, February 27, 2006

Winter is back! The timing couldnít be worse, either. Iím stretched so thin in so many ways that I donít have time to deal with cold and rain and mud at the same time. Last night I was up at 1:30 in the morning, setting out plastic containers on my computer desk to catch the drops of water falling from the cross beam above. How the rain was getting inside the house, with its mile-high vaulted ceiling, I have no idea. But it was.

The rain started early in the day yesterday, but it fell hard after dark, and the wind and rain in the early morning hours were so loud that I lost even more sleep. I could have used it, too, coming into a Monday after a weekend when I was unable to make any progress. Time passes whether Iím working hard or sitting around watching TV. Only one of those choices gets me closer to my goal, but it just wasnít in me.

This was a really hard day for me to get through, and not just because of storm and sickness. It hit me as soon as I started working how neglectful Iíve been of the responsibilities of my job. It isnít often that I get to the point where Iím face to face with so much work that canít wait for one more day, or two or ten. The fact that this is February is part of the problem; there just arenít enough days in the month to get it all done.

And I have to admit that physically Iím drained of all energy. That makes it doubly tough to work straight through the afternoon and into prime time, as I had to do today. Tomorrow will be another similar day, because I have payroll runs for two companies that have to be done. I wrote a lot of checks today, wrist brace and all, and Iíll have to spend as much time holding a pen tomorrow. Itís awkward, itís painful, and it gets old really fast.

27 February 2006

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The roar of the rain, the howl of the wind, the flickering lights, and the stopped-up toilet that I always get whenever thereís this much water in the ground, all of this contributed to my mood today. But it was the exhaustion, and the allergies, and the general malaise that turned a gray day grayer. It was hard to get through it, and impossible to get through it with a satisfied mind. There were times during the day that I thought something more serious was wrong, but Iíll leave the resolution of that for tomorrow. I canít help but think things will have to look a little brighter, even if the rain continues.

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Do I have the right to feel this way? No, I probably donít. I havenít been up all night with sick kids or home all day changing diapers about four times as often as usual. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with that. I must report that there is still a strain of explosive diarrhea running through the House of Many Children, but itís getting better. I saw Aiden today, and he was obviously feeling better, though obviously not at his best just yet. And Kylie actually smiled at me (although it was because she was sitting on her daddyís lap that she felt comfortable enough). D.J. was his usual ebullient self. Dakota seems to be coming down with something and had to stay home from school, but hey. You knew that was coming, right?

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One year ago: Storming
"It was raining so hard that it was as if a sheet of translucent glass had been lowered out of the sky between me and my garden."

Two years ago: Smoke Alarm
"'I'm destroying four dollars worth of ground turkey,' I said to myself (forgetting the half-price deal that made it worth only two dollars). 'I'm never going to be able to eat this. And look at all that smoke."

Three years ago: Playing for Time
"Maybe if we thought about what it would mean to live forever, we'd be better able to accept the inevitability of dying."

Four years ago: Dance to the Music
"I was a grasshopper today when I should have been an ant. Actually, I was an ant trying to be a grasshopper, which is much worse."

Five years ago: Drumming Up Business
"In every possible way that there is to do it wrong, I have excelled."

Six years ago: Coming From Behind
"I suppose I should be checking the obituaries more closely now anyway."

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