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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The closer I get to the end of the year, the harder it is to keep my balance. I can feel the pressure, and this year has been one of the hardest. It's difficult to keep my sunny outlook when so many things are happening, and so many more (and worse) things are possible. The Company is in real trouble, and the way out isn't clear.

What's clear is that there's nothing I can do to make the outcome better than it's destined to be. I don't make the decisions, and I don't know what I would do if I did have that power. It seems those in control either (a) know what they're doing, or (2) want me to think they know what they're doing. And really, what would be the point of hiding something that's even more grim than current reality? It's not as if I have anywhere to go.

The weird part is that, assuming no unknowable secrets, I do see a way out, and it amounts to maintaining the current course. At a time of throwing up your hands and basing decisions on the bleakest possible scenario, the answers are right in front of us, straight ahead and clear as day. If I have any influence at all, it will be to apply the oldest advice in the universe: Don't panic.

So I'm limping along through what's left of the holiday season, trying not to let the doomsayers cloud the possibilities. I spent today alone, not leaving the house at all. I'd like to say we've been through worse, but I can't. People have been through worse, though, and many are going through worse. Hope alone won't make it all come around again, but it can't happen without hope. That's what keeps us headed in the right direction.

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