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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

With the Boss still in Texas for at least another day or two, this should have been a no-pressure day. I could make my own agenda and plow through whatever needed to be done, without interruption. The only trouble with that scenario is that this was the first fully-committed work day in almost a week, what with the holidays and getting ready for the holidays and winding down from the holidays.

Under the circumstances, I guess I did all right. The circumstances were that I wasnít exactly fully committed after all, and it took me most of the morning to get moving. By afternoon I began to realize what Iím up against. Itís amazing how well fear can hone a personís concentration. There are so many bills to pay and so many spreadsheets to do before Iíll be ready for the new year, which starts This Coming Weekend.

And then once the new year arrives, it gets even worse. Iíll be on the hook for all of the government forms and taxes (sales and payroll), plus preparing the information that goes to the accountant so he can do financial statements and income taxes. For both companies. Itís pretty intimidating, from the perspective of someone who has been having a hard time getting started.

Itís not that I donít think I can do it, or even that I donít want to do it. Itís that I already know how much work it takes to get it all done, and itís a spirit-crushing prospect, getting from here to there. I feel as if Iím balancing on a limb thatís about to break off the tree. The easiest thing would be to let myself fall, but I have to do what it takes to make sure I donít.

Somehow, it all gets done every year. And Iím the one who does it. Years ago, I didnít know enough to be intimidated by all the work this takes. Now, the only reason Iím not panic-stricken is that I know Iíve done it before. The fact that it can be done trumps the fear that it canít. Itís the wisdom of age and experience (although many days Iíd still like to crawl under a blanket and stay there until it all goes away).




25 December 2005

Aiden opens more presents while his daddy assembles the treehouse.



This weather is no help at all. Rain, rain and more rain, for the next week at least. After that, who knows? Probably still more rain. Today I couldnít even get to my car without wading through standing water and sinking in mud. And yet, somehow I did it, and I got to the post office and the bank, and I made it all the way home. Wet, cold, exhausted, but home safely.

It requires a leap of faith to venture out into the storm, especially when you know from experience that there are idiots out there who drive as if the streets are dry and visibility is perfect. Can we all just try not skidding into each other?




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