There was some blue in the sky today. The sun didnít shine, at least not on me, but patches of blue were definitely visible. And not just off in the distance, either, but nearly overhead. It was one of those promises of hope (or whatever) that you keep hearing about. It was a little hint that just maybe these long, dark days arenít going to stay that way forever.
I donít know. Today was a setback physically, but I took a bit of a hit emotionally and psychologically. The more I think about how much I have to do (and how little actual knowledge and experience I have to draw on), the less excited and enthusiastic I feel about surging forward into the new year.
A challenge, you say? Calling it a challenge, I think, assumes that Iím equipped to deal with it. Iím not so sure about that. I thought Iíd have more help during the transition period. I feel as if some people I thought I could count on are bailing on me.
Or maybe I just thought they were going to do the work for me, and now that I know how much I have to do between now and, oh, mid March, Iím becoming more acutely aware of just how short the days are. I raced through payroll this afternoon, once I could finally get started, because I knew I had to finish before the darkness settled in. And thatís been happening before 4:30 pm. Anything I try to do after that is like working in a cave.
In my more lucid moments, I realize that I can get it done, if I can ask the right questions and force my way through the paperwork. It might get done half-assedly, but all I really have to do is convince the Boss that Iíve given it my best effort. Itís just a good thing I donít have to convince myself of that.