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Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Hereís another item on the list of things you donít do when youíre driving in front of me: Youíre going along about five miles an hour below the speed limit (thatís bad, but thatís not it) and you slow down, then stop, then put on your turn signal, then turn. If you do that, youíre lucky Iím awake (which isnít a given, by the way), so that I donít slide right into your rear end. You need to stop signaling way before that point.

The items on my list are in no particular order, and Iíve lost track of how many there are anyway. But hereís another one (and both of these happened on my way home from the post office today): Youíre on a rural road and you drive around a blind curve, then stop. Without signaling, you hesitate, then turn into a driveway to make a U-turn. Right. On a blind curve. How brilliant is that?

Okay, this isnít about driving, unless youíre calling me from your car, but please, please, please, if youíre going to phone me, donít hang up as soon as I answer. At least stay on the line long enough to tell me you donít want to talk to me. This happens to me all day long, and it drives me wacko. I mean, totally wacko, to the point where I throw the phone across the room. Which at least has the advantage of making it unlikely to ring again for a while.

5 April 2006


I donít know what kind of egg that is, or the story behind it. I walked out my front door to take some dramatic cloud photos, but somehow (and fortunately) I looked down instead of up. There on the walkway was this egg, which is a little too large for a henís egg. Turkey, maybe? Or some other oversized bird, at least. All I could see flitting around the trees and bushes were sparrows, and I know this couldnít have come out of one of them.

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Not to be rude (as Simon would say), but if you have to bring in Shawn Estes to be your number two starter, your starting rotation might just be a little bit shaky. At this stage of his career, and as well-traveled as heís been, Estes shouldnít be an anchor of anyoneís pitching staff, although he threw well enough tonight to keep the Padres in the game. He was matched up against a true top-tier pitcher, Matt Morris, who in his first start for the Giants lasted into the seventh inning and handed the bullpen a lead that they were able to hold for a 3-1 win.

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One year ago: Workout
"Maybe Iíll decide not to have a birthday this week after all. Itís just not working for me."

Two years ago: Catching Up
"He moved to Texas for love, and now he's stuck in Texas for love, although the object of his affection has changed."

Three years ago: Flight Plan
"Here's some advice, if you happen to be a turkey: Never forget that you're a turkey."

Four years ago: Parody Tonight
"But we're all New Yorkers, right? You can't watch TV or movies without knowing more about New York than you do about your home town."

Five years ago: Testy
"I don't like being in a bad mood all the time. It pisses me off."

Six years ago: No Such Number, No Such Zone
"I wouldn't want to be afraid to answer the door."

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