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Saturday, April 16, 2005

If it werenít for the family, Iíd still be moaning about not having a lawnmower or weed trimmer. Iím sure of it. If Iíd had to go out and get those things myself, I wouldnít have. Inertia is the monkey on my back (and it just sits there, doing nothing).

But I have those tools, and I use them, and itís helping me get back to being me again. Iíve spent the whole winter making excuses and doing very little to help myself. In fact, thatís how the yard got to be such a mess in the first place. Neglect is the handmaiden of inertia (and what a monkeyís handmaiden does Iíll leave to your imagination).

For the last week and a half, Iíve only missed one day (okay, two days) getting out there with the weed trimmer. Thatís good for the yard, and even better for me. Iíve been such a lump for so long that it would be embarrassing, if I had any pride (which takes way too much energy to maintain, and is not the same thing as self-respect).

And today I used my new lawnmower for the first time. Iíd been hesitant because the grasses are so high that I thought I needed to trim them back before the mower would even go through them. But I was blissfully wrong. I set the mower height at its maximum level and plowed through the area just off my back porch, because thatís what I see when I look out the sliding glass door.

Itís not much of a clearing, but itís definitely clear and visible and noticeable. So much so, in fact, that it makes the rest of the yard look even worse. No worries, though. Iíll get there, now that I have a little momentum going. That monkey (and its handmaiden) canít hold me back now. (Well, it could, if I let it. Thatís the nature of the beast.)

16 April 2005

Clearing, just off the porch.

Iím a better person when Iím more active. I feel more like myself. Since I was sick last month, Iíve also been eating better, at last. There will be a second baby in the family within a few months, and I intend to be around to help them embrace the world. The first step is becoming the person I think I should be. It will take more than one step, but the first step is the one that turns inertia into momentum.

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The Giants had everything going for them tonight in Denver, with their best pitcher on the mound and the Rockies in the midst of an eight-game losing streak. It turns out that the Rockies were at the end of that losing streak. They took an early lead and held on to beat the Giants, 5-4. Of course the Giants would like to have Barry Bonds back in the lineup, but his replacement, Pedro Feliz, hit another home run and leads the team in RBIs. He should keep his starting spot when Bonds returns, but his best position, third base, is currently occupied by the teamís leading hitter for average, Edgardo Alfonso. Itís a dilemma they will have to deal with eventually, but itís working to their benefit in Bondsí absence.

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Havenít you always wanted a monkey?