I was chastised at the Saturn dealer today. I was given my comeuppance. It seems I haven't lived up to the awesome responsibilities associated with being a Saturn owner.
Well, I already knew that. Just because I recently learned to pump my own gas doesn't mean I know how to keep a car running. As far as I can tell, it's sheer dumb luck that engines continue to start, and wheels turn, and pistons do whatever pistons do. (Assuming there's actually such a thing as a piston.)
In other words, I've never checked the oil, much less changed it.
It's not that there's anything wrong with my car. My studied negligence hasn't contributed to a general breakdown of systems, as you might expect it would. The problem is that I don't drive it enough.
Okay, that's not exactly the problem. It's a slight misstatement of the problem so as to put myself in a better light. Politicians and reality show contestants do it all the time.
If I'd been driving my car a thousand miles a month, as nature apparently intended, there would be no problem, no chastisement, and no comeuppance. I would have brought the car in for service at the three-month, 3,000-mile mark, and everything would have been taken care of in due time. But I don't drive my car enough.
That's what Jennifer said. "You don't drive a lot, do you?" she asked sweetly (but sternly), just before she explained that even though I was technically due for my nine-month service, I've driven a mere 3,600 miles. I must either drive more, or pay closer attention to the calendar. If I missed the six-month service, I wouldn't be getting everything I was paying for.
She very kindly offered to do the six-month service anyway, because it's more comprehensive than the nine-month service. And next time I come in (which she hopes will be in early December), I get the twelve-month service! I'll just skip over the nine-month service altogether.
That's assuming I actually do bring the car in in December, which I faithfully promised on my honor as a Saturn owner. I don't want to be chastised again, that's for sure. That was enough comeuppance for me.