bunt sign

Tuesday, September 25, 2001

The Boss actually thanked me today for being so upbeat. I've been determinedly cheerful as much as possible. It's not my natural emotional state, as I tend to let the little things build up and weigh me down. I know you're not supposed to do that. I know there are entire books written on the subject (and I'm all about pop psychology). But nobody can tell me how to feel. So we'll see how long this march into happyland bears up under the weight of my normally neurotic disposition.

It helps that the sun came out today. I didn't mind the storm yesterday, but I'm glad it was a one-time thing. It'll probably be years before we see anything like that again here. I enjoyed the show, but I like these sunny fall days much better. The last part of September through the first part of October is the best time of the year in the Bay Area. It takes the coming of winter and turns it upside down for a couple of weeks, as if we were going backwards in time, headed toward summer. If only we could.

It's not as if I had any choice, but I'm getting a lot of work done these days. We're so busy that if I didn't keep plowing through the paperwork I'd never see daylight. That's okay, though, because it feels good to see that pile go down.

And it's patriotic, according to the Boss. Staying on course and being productive is good for the country. That's always been as true as it is now, but it seems more true these days. (Either that, or it's his way of getting more work out of me.)

Besides, we have to take advantage of the jobs we have now, since we can't be sure how hard it'll be to get new work in the future. The construction business is always like that, but I've never known this much uncertainty. We can have all the hope in the world, but that doesn't mean we can blindly take anything for granted.

I didn't exactly stay away from the news today. I wouldn't want to do that, but I didn't get a chance to watch CNN much. I had Headline News on for awhile, but I can't look at that channel without getting a headache. I have a fairly big TV, but it's not big enough to be split into five or six different screens, flashing and streaming in different directions. What were they thinking?

Anyway, whatever happened in the world today happened without me. I took a break, because I needed to and because I can. Don't worry, I'll catch up. But I don't think I would have been in as chipper a mood if I hadn't withdrawn just a bit. I feel as if I've seen it before and will be seeing it forever, so I don't have to see it constantly.

red leaves in the autumn garden

The best I felt all day, though, was stepping on the scale this morning and seeing that I'm going in the right direction again. Four pounds have melted away in the last two weeks, and it's all from eating sensibly and rarely. The added benefit of eating less is that I no longer need the Zantac the doctor prescribed. All those abdominal pains and the burning that he told me would go away have finally gone away, and I'm convinced it's because I've gotten past the compulsion to eat when I'm not hungry.

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