For a person who enjoyed both A Bug's Life and Antz, you'd think I'd be more tolerant. Ants have, after all, some admirable qualities. They're industrious, selfless, and community-oriented. At least, that's their rep.
So why do I go into a mass-murdering frenzy whenever I see them? Three times in the month I've lived in the Fortress I've discovered them inside the house. In the four months I lived at Green Acres, I saw not a single ant within my walls. I guess it's what I get for moving further out in the country.
On the other hand, I lived in town at the Home Office for thirteen years, and the battle was waged at least semiannually. The war, alas, was never won — unless the ants get credit for a victory simply by surviving everything I could throw at them. I think in the end, they always win.
At the Home Office it was nearly always the bathroom where I found them. For the most part they never bothered with my kitchen, which probably tells you something about my culinary abilities. It doesn't say anything about cleanliness, though. It's just that if everything goes directly from the freezer to the microwave, the countertops don't need much wiping off.
The bathroom was also the first place I found ants in the new place. Since then, they've also turned up in the kitchen, and (today) cruising the baseboard in the living room.
Measures were taken. The sickly sweet smell of "unscented" Raid permeates the already stale air inside. (Don't believe the label, by the way. If I can smell it this strongly, I can only imagine how it seems to someone walking in. "What died in here?" I can hear them say. Or perhaps, "When did your persimmons go bad?")
(Please note that I have no idea how persimmons smell, good or bad. I could have as easily said "kumquats," of which I am equally ignorant.)
Anyway, living with bugs is part of living in the country. I'm resigned to sharing my house with a few spiders, but the occasional earwig is doomed as soon as I spot it. And it's hard for them to hide when they're trying to creep across the white carpet.
And ants, as glorified as they may be in song and story, will soon learn that the environment is unfriendly to them here. They can make all the cute movies they want. I will not be moved.