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Thursday, November 3, 2011

It’s a little like when you have your headphones on backwards, and when Lucy slams a door on the right side of the screen, you hear it in your left ear. (What, you’ve never watched I Love Lucy with headphones?) These sleepless nights have re-engineered my brain cells, and sometimes I get something in my head that isn’t quite right. If I’d been thinking correctly, I would have caught the tiny error in the last entry, where I said that the clocks get set ahead this weekend.

Thanks to gentle mocking from my readers (most of them, I think), I now know that the clocks get set back. I knew it all along, of course, but not everything I know is important enough to think about twice. That’s how I “know” a few things that aren’t even true, like the “fact” that Pluto isn’t a planet. Come on. That would make the report I wrote in sixth grade wrong, and I got an “A” on it. From Mr. Nash!

In light of these reminders, I believe I will actually set my clocks back an hour next Saturday night, before I go to bed Sunday morning. Luckily, though, the really important clocks — the one on the computer and the one on the satellite TV receiver — reset themselves, and I assume they would have done it right. The microwave doesn’t really care what time it is, as long as some time is set. I could tell the microwave it’s the day after tomorrow, and it would still only want to know “how long?” and “how hot?”.

The good news is that this turn of events makes Sunday a 25-hour day. In my opinion, all days should have 25 hours. If they did, I’m convinced I wouldn’t have these sleep issues, because my body works better on that schedule. I guess I was just born on the wrong planet, one that spins a little too fast for me.

In all the confusion I created with my misstatement, I hope readers didn’t miss the point of my last entry. I mean, I hope you wouldn’t have missed the point if it had a point. It’s pretty clear it didn’t, so maybe I’m lucky I said something that made an impression, even if it was wrong. That’s so different from this entry. What could you possibly take away from it, other than the fact that Mr. Nash was a hard grader, and he gave me an “A”?

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