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Wednesday, May 15, 2002

The choice today was between leaving the doors and windows closed and breathing my own exhaust, or opening everything up and inhaling all the stray pollen in western Sonoma County. I tried it both ways and it didn't seem to matter. I was going to be snurfling and hawrking no matter what.

As much as I wanted to work in the yard, I used what little energy I had on my job. I had to go to the bank and pretend I was fine, but those people wash their hands all the time anyway, don't they? I mean, handling all that money must make them germ-conscious, and I was careful not to breathe. (Not breathing came easily.)

And I had to pick up a few things at the store, but I didn't touch anything I wasn't going to buy. At the post office someone held the door for me, so I didn't leave any traces there. I did have some outgoing mail to drop in the box, but postal workers probably develop immunities that keep them from getting sick every time they handle a toxic letter or package. Otherwise, the mail would never get delivered on time.

The short version is that I felt a little better at times, a little worse the rest of the time, but overall about the same as yesterday. I don't think I've had a real cold like this for two or three years. I get rundown and listless all the time. Sometimes I get itchy, sometimes scratchy. But never really sick.

It's an inconvenient time to be out of commission. We have an important bid going in Friday, and I have to make sure all the eyes and tees are crossed and dotted as required by the State of California. On the other hand, if it gets bad enough I can shove some of the unpleasant tasks off on other people while I lie on the couch and get caught up on my telenovelas.

What ends up happening is that I have to take more frequent breaks but work longer hours to make up for them. That's when working at home is both a blessing and a curse. We can't exactly hire a temp to come into my home and plow through my messy filing system just because I don't feel like doing it.

Eventually it all comes back to me anyway, no matter what happens in the meantime, so it's always in my own interest to make sure the company's business gets done. Maybe that's why I haven't been sick a lot. It just isn't efficient.



No matter what, I'm not letting it get me down. All I have are a bunch of symptoms to deal with the best I can. I can still hold my head up, no matter how heavy it feels. I kind of like the way my scratchy throat makes my voice deeper. If I could only get rid of this ringing in my ears, I'd be almost happy.

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