I really think that part of the reason I'm having such trouble getting through the day lately is allergies. It can't all be lack of sleep. I'm getting five or six hours a night, most nights, and that should be enough. If it's not I should be able to make it up on the weekend. But the effort it takes to breathe when the wind and the grasses and the pollen and the dust block up my head — now that's enough to wear me down by the middle of the day.
After I stopped dosing myself regularly with over-the-counter decongestants, I felt better all over, almost immediately. I was much less nervous, tense and edgy. All three, plus anxious and uptight. Plus, it wasn't working. I couldn't breathe, and I was jittery and jumpy. I can get that combination from coffee and Mountain Dew and get a lot more pleasure out of the whole situation as well.
For a long time I was addicted to nasal spray. This wasn't like a chemical addiction. This was like actually not believing I could breathe unless I squirted Vicks Sinex up into my head several times a day. The only way I could stop was by convincing myself that it was doing membrane damage and quitting cold turkey. Now all I use is a simple saline solution, and while it's almost totally ineffective, it's also almost totally harmless.
The result of all the changes in the way I treat my allergies is that I'm doing less artificial damage to myself. Any harm that comes my way now is natural, from the grasses and pollen and dust. Somehow that seems less like digging my own grave, and I feel better about myself even if I can't breathe half the time. All in all, I prefer it this way. Wheeze.