It just goes on and on, only it gets worse. The Boss has decided he wants to bypass the accountant and do the financial statements himself, then tell the accountant what numbers to plug into them. The Boss is not an accountant, and neither am I... but he thinks he is, and I know I'm not.
He was on the phone before I was even dressed this morning, glorying in the fact that he had some free time and could work on this stuff with me. My part is to listen to what he plans to do and give him a spreadsheet that proves he's not crazy. I don't have to know what I'm talking about; I just have to be creative.
Oddly enough, that's a talent I've developed over the fifteen years I've worked for this guy. I can make a spreadsheet say almost anything and bury the details so deeply that it would take an accountant much sharper than ours to find them.
If any false impressions come out of the way the numbers come together, the Boss has his own specialty. He can talk in circles and make you believe a 6 is a 9. I asked him once if we were better off with an accountant we could manipulate, rather than one who actually knew what he was doing. "You're damn right," he said.
My eyes glaze over when he talks to me about anything to do with the financial statements. His thinking is so convoluted that I can't follow where he's going. Every so often I'll pick up on something that he's completely misinterpreted and call him on it. He'll simply tell me that the way he sees it is the way it's going to be.
I have no argument for that, because I see the details so much more clearly than the big picture. If I make sure the numbers in the column are correct, and the total is correct, I feel I've done my job. If he can convince someone that it says what he wants to believe it says, I can't help that.