More and more lately Iíve found myself muttering out loud to someone who isnít there. Iíll be walking through a parking lot, wondering whatís going on with a driver who obviously doesnít know what the hell heís doing, and Iíll say something under my breath like, ďWhat the hell is he doing?Ē I know! Cursing like a gosh darn sailor.
Itís not as if Iím not used to the sound of my own voice. When Iím home alone (redundancy alert), I have long conversations with myself. Iím never more articulate than when Iím my only listener. And I can argue both sides of any point with equal fervor and conviction, as long as thereís no one else involved. I think it actually sharpens my wit for those rare occasions when Iím in an actual conversation with another human, rather than the phantoms.
Where Iím most vocal is where Iím most isolated, behind the wheel of my car. Itís also where Iím most focused. I have a lot to say to the other drivers, especially when I know they canít hear me. I donít really want them to hear me, in fact, although if they listened they would probably learn a thing or two about good driving. Once a guy at a stop sign got out of his car and came to my window. ďYou got anything to say to me?Ē he asked.
ďNo,Ē sez I. ďJust get moving.Ē He didnít know what to say to that, so he just got back in his car and drove off. I donít think I was even talking to him that time. Iím pretty sure I was singing along with the radio.