I've had my small scale ups and downs lately, but I've been high as a kite and low as a snake in life's bigger picture as well. That's why I'm counting so much on the Kennel coming through for me. It looks as if it's about to become a reality. Whether it will live up to my soaring expectations is another question altogether.
At one point in my life I thought I had it all. I didn't, of course. No one ever does, even if they think they do. But I had a future that was rosy and solid (if anything can have those two qualities at once).
And I lost it, over a period of a few months. Some of it was my own fault, and some of it wasn't. That's only fitting, because most of the reason I was up on that peak in the first place was out of sheer luck. If I'd done more to deserve to be there, maybe I would have known how to stay there instead of dribbling it all away.
This time is different. I feel I've worked hard and earned this shot at a little security in my future. I don't think I can blow it unless I lose all the qualities that have put me here in the first place. That's certainly possible, but all I have to do is remind myself of 1985 (and 1984 and 1986, for that matter), and I have enough incentive to keep going.