This show that I saw the last five minutes of a few days ago on HGTV (or was it the DIY channel?) pretty much convinced me that flies aren't totally useless creatures. They do a lot of good in the garden. Since I missed most of the show, the only good I saw them do was help a dead mouse decompose and "return its nutrients to the soil." (Ew.)
Well, translate "mouse" to "mole" and I'm all "yay flies."
On the other hand, I don't think flies do much good in the house (even if they are called "houseflies"). I have no qualms (or compunctions either) about killing them. Dead. It's especially annoying if there's a fly buzzing around my face while I'm trying to relocate a spider, and I (oops!) drop the spider on the rug and it scampers (um, spiders don't slither, so they must scamper) out of sight behind something.
Wouldn't you think the fly would rather have the spider living outside, instead of in the house where (Golds willing) webs would be spun with the specific function of capturing flies for the purpose of eating them? It's not as if I'd been relocating the spider as a favor to the fly, but sometimes you get collateral benefits. Seems to me, if you're a fly, you need all the good luck that comes your way.
So there's one fly in the house (that I know of). As I'm sitting at the computer yesterday afternoon, it's buzzing around my face. It lands on the desk, then resumes its aerial assault every time I move. Aha! says I. I grab the flyswatter and sit there typing and surfing one-handed. I have one of those cool Internet keyboards that have "back" and "forward" buttons, and I know the keystrokes to close files and move between programs. I can do a lot with one hand. Shut up.
Naturally, as soon as I'm sitting with the flyswatter in ready position, the fly disappears. Collateral benefit, I guess, except that I just know it's coming back as soon as I put the swatter back on its nail. (I don't really hang it on a nail. I hang it on the unused cup dispenser on the side of my water cooler. I just don't like to point that out.)
What to do? Since I'm so sure the fly will be back in my face when I've put the swatter back on the "nail," I sit there at my desk, flyswatter extended like a torch. I'm doing the old Statue of Liberty ploy. But I'm fly-free, and you know, it's all worth it, really. No one needs to know.