Before I moved to the wilderness, I asked the Boss if he'd pay for me to get DSL or cable Internet access. After about an hour of trying to explain what that was, and how much it might cost, he agreed. I must be some great talker, because as far as the Company is concerned, there's no reason for me to have high-speed access. I want it for me, just me.
Out here in the country, I'm lucky to have phone lines, period. Even the cable service is non-digital, a piddling 42-channel lineup that doesn't include ESPN2, Comedy Central or Bravo (which I do watch), but does include the Food Network (which I don't) as part of its basic package. It advertises the digital version, but it's not available here.
DSL isn't available either, as far as I know. When I moved in and called to have the phone installed, they tried to sell it to me, then looked it up and saw I couldn't have it anyway. Nice. So they put me on a list. I'll get a call from the phone company if they ever string enough wires so I can get DSL service here in the boondocks.
Still, I keep getting flyers from the phone company telling me that DSL is "now available in your area." So today I called their bluff. I went online and signed up for the service. It includes a free DSL modem and free activation. The kicker is that they couldn't tell me for sure whether the service is available, and if it turns out (as I'm sure it will) that I can't have it, the whole deal is off.
So we'll see what happens. I get so frustrated waiting for long downloads and having to dial up four or five times a day that I might have gone ahead with this scheme even if the Boss had said no, and I had to pay for it myself. I don't have to worry that he won't remember, because he believes everything I tell him. If I say he agreed to it, he won't question me any further. Mind control. Aren't you glad I don't work for you?