Every year I make the same few resolutions, and then blithely go on living the same dissolute life Iíve always lived, eating ice cream instead of broccoli and collapsing in the La-Z-Boy instead of working out on the Nordic Track. That doesnít deter me from making the resolutions, but at least I go into them with my eyes wide open.
A few other things I donít expect to do this year are getting up early, going to bed early, and doing anything in between to make either more likely. I probably wonít get caught up on my filing or keep my yard from getting overgrown and unruly. More than once Iíll forget to pay my bills on time. I wonít keep the bathroom or the kitchen (much less both) spotless and sanitary.
Thereís a good chance I wonít wash my car every other Saturday, or my windows ever. The spiders in my rafters have little to fear from my broom, since I donít think Iíll get around to clearing out the cobwebs. In all likelihood I wonít keep my email inbox cleaned up, and I wonít organize my CD collection.
I will also complain loudly about things I canít do anything about, and look for someone to blame for things that are nobodyís fault. At times I will be petty and petulant and pissy, and every so often I will punch the walls and kick the furniture. When I should laugh something off, I probably wonít. When I should take something seriously, I might not.
I will stop procrastinating, but probably not this year.
If I do anything great or memorable, it will be an accident. Any contribution I make to world peace and harmony will be a by-product of my own self-indulgence, as I go on leading the same oblivious life Iíve always led. Unless, you know, things change and I actually keep some of my resolutions this time. But thatís not very likely.