If I could eat just one cookie at a time, I could keep cookies in the house. The big box of big cookies I brought home from the memorial Saturday was empty by Tuesday. That's bad. I have the same problem with beer. If I have it, I drink it all up till it's gone. I'm too compulsive a consumer to use restraint, so I can't have it around at all. Moderation is not in my dictionary.
Lately it's been rice cakes. Mini rice cakes are seven calories each, not enough to do much damage...unless you eat a whole bag in one sitting! There's no such thing as having one or two or six in the middle of the afternoon, just to take the edge off until dinner. If I get started, I pop them one after another until I'm about half sick, and I keep going long after the edge is off. No wonder I've put all those pounds back on.
Okay, not all the pounds. But since the first of December I've gained back seven of the fifteen pounds I'd lost since April. I could blame the holidays and other stresses of the season, but those are really just excuses for me to indulge myself. What's my excuse this week?
Mindless consumption is what it is, and today I even did it with shopping. I had to go to Office Depot for the Boss's new business cards. Best Buy is next door. I was just going in there to get something for Nick's birthday (he turns thirteen on February 2). It had to be as good as (but not better than) the Three Stooges DVD set I gave Jake when he turned thirteen two weeks ago.
I had a hard time finding what I wanted, so I had to look through all the racks of DVDs. Before I even came up with anything for Nick, I picked up Newsies and Down from the Mountain for myself. And I haven't even got around to watching all of the DVDs I already own. I had to put it on my credit card, but I couldn't help myself. I did it without thinking, and let the guilt sink in later.
I have other weaknesses, I'm sure, but these seem to be the most costly ones. Either I'm eroding my body or my bank account, but at least it's helping me get through the winter. It's a lot easier to hibernate if you have cookies and beer (or even rice cakes and yogurt), and it's a comfort to curl up with a warm, friendly movie on a cold, lonely night.