January 3, 2000
It's not easy to get out of slacker mode and back into full gear, especially when you're running on half steam in the first place. (Whew! Enough metaphors?) I've spent the last two weeks trying with mixed success to shake a cold/flu-type affliction, and for some reason I spent last night very soundly not sleeping. I must have looked at the clock two or three times every hour, all night long.
But somehow the sheer volume of work I had to get through today kept me going, giving me no time to remember how exhausted I felt. I expect that most of the month will be like this, but I'll try to keep the whining down. The only way to get through something like this is to plow ahead, doing what I can and refusing to feel guilty about what gets shoved aside for later.
The element I can't control in all this is the demands put on my time by outside forces, such as when the Boss calls and wonders why cost reports haven't been done yet. That's when whining becomes a weapon, or at least a shield against the heavy artillery. It's comforting to have everyone (including myself) convinced that no one else can do what I do. I get a lot of leeway in times like these.
And to think there was a time a few years ago when I had so little to do that the Boss suggested that I find part-time work, so that he wouldn't have to pay me as a full time employee. Several times in the thirteen years I've worked for him he's either laid me off or cut back my hours, only to relent within days (once on the same day). Now that the business is flourishing, he's suggesting I find a part-timer to help me do my job. I remember the lean days, though, and I'm happy to have enough leverage to make these decisions myself.
I have had to make some concessions, though, to be in this position. Since I work at home, I'm available at any hour. The Boss has the kind of mind that never stops thinking, never stops worrying, and when he latches onto something that makes his stomach churn, he's perfectly willing to call me and dictate a six-page letter. And this could be at almost any time of day. I go along with this, as long as I get some flexibility during my work day. And, of course, as long as he doesn't call during Buffy.