Even though thereís no crisis, the Boss has decided to go into panic mode. He wants both checking accounts, the one for The Company and the one for The Kennel, to be at particular levels as of December 31. Since The Kennel owes money to The Company for construction work that it did there, and since The Company has a mountain of bills due the first week in January, and plenty of money to pay them, it shouldnít be hard to get everything situated the way he wants it. Everything is going to work out fine. I know what needs to be done, and I know how to do it.
So why the panic? Oh, no particular reason. If thereís no crisis, one must be created. The Boss sends out what-if scenarios like so many flying monkeys, and he needs to know that Iím not sleeping in the poppy field. After about eight phone calls this morning, I finally had to confess to him that I wasnít functioning at full capacity today, having slightly overcaffeinated myself after dinner last night, and having been awakened at 4:30 am by a phone call from nobody. I asked him if he wouldnít let me please do something easy today, and then we could talk about doomsday tomorrow. He was reluctant to let it go but finally agreed.
In fact, he left his office altogether, bent on firing the lawyer whoís been working on his will. ďHe did exactly what I asked him not to do,Ē he told me. ďHe gave me twenty pages of boilerplate that I have no intention of reading.Ē At least he didnít ask me to read it. He thinks that out there somewhere are people he can bribe or bully into doing pretty much anything he doesnít feel like doing. Thatís just the way he is.
Sometimes itís nice for me, like when he tells me not to worry about some detail, because heíll get somebody to ďhandle it.Ē When that means doing something different from the way a government agency demands that it be done, Iím happy to leave things in his hands, because at least I know the consequences will fall on his shoulders and no one elseís. Either that, or he actually will bully a bureaucrat into rewriting the rules, just for him. Thatís been known to happen, too.
Today, though, he wasnít telling me not to worry. He was trying to tell me to panic, and I wasnít having it. That would have sent him reeling if he hadnít had another mission of destruction to attend to with his lawyer. It always helps to divert him to a different crisis. Obviously, it doesnít have to be a real one, because he creates them wherever he goes.