I had other plans for that hour and a half in the middle of my Sunday afternoon, and they didn't include sitting at the computer typing myself into a stupor. But when a twenty-page document comes over the fax, with the broad hint that it would be a good thing if it could be reviewed before tomorrow morning, I don't have much of a choice.
So after a long session of back-breaking typistry, I had the lease ready to email back to the company's valley office. I couldn't feel my fingers or bend my wrists, but it was done. That office is where most of my headaches have been coming from these last few weeks, but it's also where all this phantom money will be coming from, if everyone is telling me the truth. So I do what I have to do.
I was actually "resting my eyes" when the fax started coming in. I was planning to rest for an hour or so and then get some work done while watching the ballgame. What I really wanted to do more than anything was write my own paycheck for this week. When I'm this broke, I can't be bothered to wait for Tim to send time cards. It's kind of amazing how flexible I can be when my own bank account is involved.
And that's why I dropped everything to work on the Lease. I hate typing legal documents, because they have a language all their own and they're so repetitive. "Heirs, executors, administrators, successors, and assigns." Five ways of saying the same thing, but the whole roster can come up twice in the same paragraph. Twice in the same sentence, even. "Invalid, void, or unenforceable." Give me a break.
People who do this kind of typing all the time must have special software with shortcuts that make it easier to insert all these lists. "Liability, claim, damage, or expense." Some of the words in this Lease are words I would never type in the real world. "Lessee" would be easier to type on a different keyboard where I didn't have to hit five strokes in a row with the two weakest fingers on my left hand.