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Friday, August 16, 2002

If I'm gradually getting comfortable with Fidelina (the new computer), it's because I'm little by little making her look exactly like the old one. It took me three years to get the creaky old machine's toolbars and menu bars the way I wanted them. As soon as I have Fidelina's programs configured the same way, I can stop obsessing over where the "Mark as Read" button in Outlook went and start worrying about ... something else. There's always something else, isn't there?

As much as I like getting new tools to work with, I don't much like trying to make them work. No, that's not exactly right. I do like trying to make them work, right up until the point where they start giving me problems. Then I just want to go outside and dig in the dirt with my bare hands (which I did this afternoon, except for the "bare hands" part; I wore my gardening gloves).

Since I've had all these computer issues to deal with I've been sticking pretty close to home. I haven't done much more than go back and forth to the post office during the day, and I haven't been walking. If it weren't for trying to keep the yard cleaned up, I wouldn't be getting any exercise at all. Banging my fist and/or my head against the wall doesn't count.

The weekend comes at a good time. It's always a good time for the weekend to come, but I've gone about as far as I can go with trying to cope with a new computer at the same time I'm trying to run a business office.

The Company is so unbelievably busy right now, you'd think the economy were sound and we were a well-run outfit. We're getting new work all over the place, small private jobs and big government projects. I can't complain about it, because that's what's allowing the Boss to buy me stuff. He's paying for the DSL, too, whether I ever get it to work or not.

I've been putting off calling the DSL support number, because I'm not good at talking to people about technical issues. I don't really get why the installation didn't work. I connected the modem to the phone line exactly the way I was told. I plugged in the network connection just like in the diagrams. I turned on the modem, and two lights came on. Three lights are supposed to come on, but only two did.

I went over everything again and again, trying to uncover my grievous error, because it could only be my fault. But the results were the same every time.

So tomorrow I have to get some help, and this time I hope it really is my fault. What if I found out it's faulty equipment? Maybe the modem the phone company sent me is defective. I've been holding onto it for two weeks hoping some magic would make it work. It's still my fault, but for being an idiot instead of for being incompetent. There's a difference, I think.

my desk

Two keyboards, two mice, two of everything (almost).
Like my desk wasn't cluttered enough already.

Another thing I have to do tomorrow is send I Am Sam back to Netflix, so somebody else can watch this wonderful movie. I've seen everything on the DVD, some of it three or four times. There are a few scenes I can't escape from; they keep drawing me back for one more emotional jolt. This might be one I'll have to own some day. And I definitely want that soundtrack of Beatles covers, by the likes of Rufus Wainwright, Ben Harper, Aimee Mann and others. Must have that.

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Latest recommendation:

Bitter Hag, August 13, Brainbox Baggage

Recent recommendations can always be found on the links page.

One year ago: Child's Play
"Maybe an opportunity to teach some sensitivity was lost somewhere along the way."

Two years ago: Obsessions
"I'm aware of my emotions, and I'm conscious of how destructive they can be when they're in charge of me instead of the other way around."

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Living is easy with your eyes closed,
Misunderstanding all you see.
It's getting hard to be someone
But it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.