I'm not ready to give up yet. The Boss has always had this vision of a rosy future for the Company, but I've never allowed myself to believe it. That's because I see too many of the nuts and bolts, and I know how close we've been to having everything fall apart.
There have been times in these fifteen years when I've been laid off temporarily. I've seen all the other office staff let go. Some went one by one, while others branched off to form a separate company. (I don't think they made it, but I lost contact with them.) So I've often had the sense that the Boss was either kidding himself, or trying to con the rest of the world. Probably it was a little of both.
Maybe I just have to believe in the future now, because without the Company I'm not sure I have one. At my age, I'd have to have mad skills to be marketable, and I'm just an office frump that knows how to get along. That's fine for someone who's well entrenched in an organization, but you can't sell it to someone who's looking for a young, energetic go-getter.
I'm lucky to be here now, because I never was that dazzling young star. I've always been the draught mule, never the racehorse. In a few years I'll be sniffing the barn and looking for someone to muck out my stall.