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Wednesday, April 7, 2004

It was a perfect spring day, and the Boss left me alone. I got a lot of work done, which is good because I let myself get way behind over the last week or so. I'm not saying I'm caught up, but I'm a lot closer than I was a day ago.

So why are chairs overturned in my house? Why are my fists bruised from punching the wall?

The only thing that could put me in that bad a mood on such a promising day is internal. My ability to control my reactions to small inconveniences has been compromised. It's the usual culprit that's responsible. Lack of sleep (along with that fellow traveler, allergies (as in sneezing my head off)).

And yes, I do blame the time change for at least part of the problem. My schedule, both waking and sleeping, has been disrupted. I ate dinner so early today that I was hungry again before it was even fully dark. My afternoon nap was from 3:40 to 3:55 pm, and that just didn't do it for me. Too short, too restless.

There's no use trying to analyze the problem in any more depth than this. It's a permanent, temporary problem. I will always have trouble sleeping, but I'll always find ways to cope. It might take a weekend, or a little weekday downtime.

I'm lucky, you know, to work at home, because I can give in to my own limitations in a way that minimizes them. In the old days, when I worked in an office with other live bodies nearby, I still fell asleep at my desk from time to time. I don't think the Boss ever knew about it, any more than he knows how I spend my days now.

Results are all he cares about, thank goodness. It's kind of a shame that even my results are suffering lately. I'll come through this rough patch one more time. But I once had a boss who told me that success depended on how many times you were willing to answer the bell. Not able, but willing. On days like this, I'm not sure I can tell the difference.

7 April 2004

Someone should mow that yard before the house disappears.

Despite all this, I have reason to believe that tomorrow will be a better day. For one thing, I've been through this enough times to know that I never sink below rock bottom, and tomorrow is almost always a better day. And on top of that, the family is getting together for a little, uh, get-together tomorrow night. I can always hang my hopes on that happy prospect.

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If it weren't for Kruk and Kuip (the Giants' TV broadcasters), I could easily have turned away from the game when the Astros went ahead 8-0. But those guys make even a blowout fun to watch, so I stuck it out to the end. There was no happy outcome this time, alas, as the Giants lost, 10-1. Here it is three days into the season, and they're finished with Houston for the year. At least they don't have to travel there in the heat and humidity of summer, for once. See, there's always a silver lining.

Recent recommendations can always be found on the links page.

One year ago: Ticking
"Many's the time I've been forsaken, within less than twenty-four hours of a haircut that I thought would change my life."

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Me estoy muriendo por robarte un beso,
Sólo me falta que acabe esta canción.