bunt sign

Saturday, April 7, 2001

I think I know what hummingbird love sounds like. I heard a high-pitched harmonic whine coming from the garden. As I stood looking out the screen door, I couldn't see anything until suddenly two hummingbirds shot straight up from behind a bush, chased each other around in circles a couple of times, then shot straight down out of sight again.


That wasn't the most obvious sign of spring today, though. The kids next door, the ones I moved here to get away from, were out in the field between the houses flying a kite this afternoon. The same wind that held the kite aloft whistled loudly through the trees in all their new greenery.

trees in the wind

The red-shouldered hawks that have their nest in the eucalyptus at the end of my driveway have been around more and more lately, too. They've been flying lower than before over the yard, circling majestically and swooping down just over my head. This never fails to give me a thrill.

When I looked out the window this afternoon and saw a bright yellow goldfinch perched on a tree branch in my garden, I took it as a sign. For the longest time, I thought we had only brown birds around here. I don't take any cosmic meaning from the sudden appearance of brilliant new colors, but for some reason it cheered me.

This afternoon, after spending as much time as I dared out in the wind pulling weeds, I watched another movie that I fell in love with. I'm a sucker for a sweetly sad story like Where the Heart Is, because it's filled with complex characters that you learn to care about as you get to know them. They're flawed, but mostly good-hearted and well-intentioned, and beautifully portrayed by the likes of Natalie Portman, Ashley Judd and Stockard Channing, among others.

The themes are my favorites: how we make connections, how the people we meet change our lives, what we get back from opening our hearts to others. Like other films (and books) I've fallen in love with, it explores what makes a family.

Maybe this seems odd. I live alone, after all, and although I have a strong family structure, I don't have a network of friends. I might not be in a relationship, but I'm a romantic and always have been. I believe in love, strongly and deeply, no matter what anyone thinks my lifestyle says about me.

I'm already paying three times what I was a year ago for gas and electricity. I wonder how much worse it will get. PG&E has declared bankruptcy, just after giving bonuses and raises to corporate managers. A federal judge will figure out how the utility, will recover the massive debt it accumulated. And I think we all know where they're going to get the money.

The state government and PG&E collaborated on the system that got them into this situation. The power suppliers took advantage of it. Now my neighbors and I are going to be called on to get them out of it. And we're still going to have rolling blackouts this summer.

The good to come out of this is exposing our governor, Gray Davis, for the ineffective little worm that he is. I can't believe I voted for this guy. He's let me down time and again over every social issue that means anything. His true calling is political fundraiser. He's the best at that, I'll admit, but all the money in the world can't buy back my good will. I'm happy to see that more and more challengers are hinting that the 2002 election might be wide open after all.

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